This R U OK? Day, I want to share a reminder that goes beyond simply knowing where support is available.
We may know there is a number we can call. We may have a friend, relative or colleague we could reach out to. Yet, when we are at our lowest, asking for support can feel incredibly difficult.
We may worry that we are annoying someone, taking up their time or becoming a burden.
But the truth is, the people who care about us would usually prefer that we reach out. They don’t need us to have the perfect words or explain everything clearly. Sometimes, we only need to say:
“I’m not feeling like myself today. Could we talk?”
We also need to recognise where some of our pressure comes from.
Are we trying to meet our own impossible standards—or society’s expectations of what it means to be a good mother, partner, friend, colleague, coach or leader?
Are we expecting ourselves to always be happy, energetic, productive and positive?
There will be times when we are not the happy person in the room. Times when we don’t have high energy or bring the “best vibe.” And that doesn’t make us weak, negative or less valuable.
It simply makes us human.
One analogy that has helped me embrace my feelings is thinking about the seasons and the trees.
We celebrate trees when they flourish in spring, but we don’t judge them when their leaves fall in autumn. We don’t expect them to bloom throughout the entire year.
Nature changes. It rests. It releases. It renews.
And we are part of nature too.
Just as a tree releases its leaves before flourishing again, we may experience days, weeks or seasons when we need to slow down, let something go and reconnect with ourselves.
Instead of forcing ourselves to immediately “feel better,” perhaps the first step is to acknowledge how we genuinely feel and give those feelings some space.
That doesn’t mean facing everything alone. Acceptance and support can exist together. Sometimes we need rest and self-compassion. Sometimes we need an honest conversation with someone we trust. And sometimes we need support from a trained professional.
Healing is not about performing happiness. It is a process—and there is no shame in being somewhere in the middle of it.
Today and always, let’s ask the people around us, “Are you really OK?” And let’s create enough space to listen to the answer without judgement or rushing to fix it.
But let’s also ask ourselves:
“How am I—really?”
Whatever your answer is today, you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations. And you don’t have to navigate a difficult season alone.
If you’re struggling, please reach out to someone you trust or speak with a qualified professional. In Australia, Lifeline offers confidential crisis support 24/7 on 13 11 14, by text on 0477 13 11 14, or through online chat. You can also contact a counsellor through Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. If life is in immediate danger, call 000.
With care,
Nayreth
BENAY Wellness
Happy. Healthy. Authentically You.
